2017 · College · goals · gypsy · Uncategorized

Procrastination…

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I won’t let myself get behind on college work is probably the biggest lie I tell myself these days. I started out the year strong, I was 6 weeks ahead of the course schedule, I was keeping on top of it. This lasted until the first assignment that I found ridiculously difficult and I hated everything about college. It wasn’t even that hard of an assignment honestly looking back but at the time I just could not for the life of me get my head around it. In my usual fashion I saw failure on the horizon and decided that I wasn’t going to try. I wallowed for about 2 days then sucked it up and got it done and I got a higher mark than I was expecting. But then came Christmas and I didn’t even think about college. There was too much going on and I decided that going out and spending time with my friends and family was more important because well I’m a procrastinator and what else would I do.

I am the queen of procrastination. Assignment due in 2 weeks? That’s loads of time, I’ll just watch Sherlock from the start again and then I’ll get on it. Oh what’s that I hear? The sound of anything bloody else I could be doing! It calls and I follow and then find myself stressed out and promising myself it’ll never get that bad again. This is also a lie. So this year I am really going to try get on top of it.

Anybody who knows me knows I love social media. With my social anxiety when I am alone in a crowded place or waiting on somebody or just generally feel vulnerable I am attached to my phone. Bad habit I know but it is what it is. Instagram and YouTube are my absolute favourites and I can spend way to long on these. These are my tools of procrastination. So I decided today to delete the apps from my phone. Facebook, Messenger, Instagram, Youtube and Snapchat. All gone bye bye because even when I am studying my phone buzzes and I automatically check it. So that’s step 1.

Step 2 is working ahead. I have 2 assignments due and then a break week for each module so I am going to take that time to get ahead in the modules so if something does come up then I am equipped to take a day off. Right now if I take a day off I’m going to fail so I need to get on it.

Sleep is Step 3. Naps are also a downfall because I LOVE a good nap. Between that and the fact that I have been having a social life that has been cutting into my normal sleep schedule I need to get more sleep. I do however have a rubber arm and find it hard to say no to a good night out, I would say that’s a point I need to work on however I’m having fun so just no lol.

Anyway I’m off to go do some assignments. Wish me luck, God knows I need it!

Until next time, let your gypsy soul wander.

2017 · Anxiety · goals · gypsy · Just Me · Lifestyle · resolutions · Uncategorized

2017 New Year, Same Me.

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Back to the blog. I am filled with fantastic intentions that this will be a regular occurrence but lets be honest my track history tells a very different story so we shall see what happens.

So its officially 2017 and I for one am glad to see the back of 2016. 2016 was a hard year that taught me a lot about myself but I wouldn’t ever want to relive it. So this time of year you start to see the usual “New Year, New Me” posts that circulate on Facebook, Instagram, Snap Chat etc. People join gyms, give up smoking, start clean eating, apply to go back to school. They start the year with grandiose plans with step by step plans and lists and noticeboards and journals. They have great intentions and start off with gusto. In fairness there are some people who will keep this up for the year, I personally have never met them but I am told that they exist. I set goals rather than new years resolutions because constant improvement works so much better for me in my life.

I managed to achieve most of my goals from lat year and this year I have set some more. This year I have a few like go somewhere spectacular on holiday, read 20 books and finish college with a 2:1 which means I need above 80 on nearly every assignment and exam this year and get back driving (preferably without having a panic attack every time there’s traffic). I do need to drink more water and I have to remember to take my supplements because all the scary warnings they gave me after my surgery to take them apparently didn’t have an effect and I have been not taking them more than taking them which is only going to lead to trouble in the long run.

But this year I am mostly working on me. Last year taught me a lot about who I am as well as those around me. I for the first time in my life seem to have a grasp on who I am as well as what I want which if you know me is a bloody miracle in itself. I am moody  and sensitive (too much so at times), I like to take care of people and I’m probably a bit too naive if I’m honest. But all these things make me well me and this year I am accepting that. I want to put myself out there more, I want to take opportunities that I usually let pass me by because I am scared, I want to go on dates and feel confident in myself, I want to be OK with being me which believe me is harder than it looks.

That’s why this year you won’t hear me saying New Year, New Me – I am saying New Year, Same Me and hopefully over the course of the year I will be OK with being the same old me.

Anybody make any resolutions?

Until next time, let your gypsy soul wander.

 

Family · gypsy · Just Me · Uncategorized

Being busy, priorities and juggling it all.

I am seriously in awe of anybody that can do everything, make commitments, stick to them, have everything in their lives so in order that they actually have it together. So when this was posted on Instagram the other day it stuck a chord with me.

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This implies that if you don’t make time for something then it doesn’t matter to you. It implies that all you simply have to do is make the time and voila you have your priorities in order. This image is a load of bullshit.

Short of actually being a witch that has a time turner or having a watch that stops time like in that weird program on the BBC when I was a kid or being able to function on no sleep you cannot just simply create time from nowhere. I know that the meaning of “make time” in this context means you bump other things that are “not as important” to make time. Maybe its adult responsibility or maybe its my goals but I know that I for one do not have that luxury to bump the main things that take up my time.

Work I have down. I turn up on time, I do my job and I go home. It is the one stable constant in my life that come hell or high influenza I will always do. I have a no calling in sick policy (unless I’m contagious) and I like the stability it brings to my life. So seen as I do it all the time and I am handling it well does that make it top on my list of priorities? Honestly without a job I can’t really do much. Money makes the world go round and all that jazz so would I say its my top priority? No I wouldn’t but it would be hard to do anything else if I didn’t have it so its high on the list so bumping it to “make time” not really an option.

College I am coping with OK. Studying the two courses at a higher level means that the reading time alone is taking so much longer than previous years as A) having mild dyslexia my mind tends to wander unless I am thoroughly engaged and interested in the topic and B) I also have to look up lots of words online to try to make sense of it. I have gone from having maybe 20 hours of work a week last year to about 36 to 40 this year depending on how hard I find the material. It is a challenge and I am enjoying it as I love to learn (I know I’m a complete nerd, I’ve accepted it) but would I rather be chilling with my friends? Yes of course I would. But studying gets me closer to my degree which in turn gets me closer to the career I want so is it my top priority? At the moment considering how much it’s costing me and how much I’ve sacrificed to be able to study, yes it is my top priority after family. I’m not going to apologize for it either which means it’s also not getting “bumped” to make time.

Dancing I am just starting to find my groove with the two extra nights per week this year so I will refrain from commenting  for now until I see where all this lands when the dust settles and if I can realistically fit all of it in. I may need to make some changes so that I can fit it into the schedule. Bottom line is: Is dancing my top priority? No. Are the children I teach and how changes may affect them my priority? Most definitely but I am on a learning curve right now and eventually I will find how it works for me. Dancing is not a job its a passion and I love nothing more than to see the girls smashing my choreography and seeing them stand a little taller and prouder when they feel like they’ve accomplished something. It is important to me so also not getting “bumped”.

Family and friends are the areas I am failing most in these days. I honestly couldn’t tell you the last time I have seen some of them. This is why I think the image struck such a chord with me. My top priorities have always been and will continue to be my family and friends and that image made me feel like I was a bad person for not seeing them or “making time” to see them (I know I know talk about reading too much into something but hey this is me welcome to my world). I have wanted nothing more than to call my friends and say “come on let’s go on one of our impromptu road trips to nowhere at 11pm at night” but unfortunately we are all adults now with responsibilities and their schedules are just as hectic as mine. But I am blessed with people in my life who understand that here is such a thing as too busy, that just because I am being a boring nerd and decide to study instead of going out they don’t hold it against me (they so however text me drunk and make me wish I was there).

So I’m just going to come out and say it. I can’t juggle it all. Honestly I don’t think anybody ever really has it together, I think we all just have ways of making it look like we do. But I digress, at the moment I am trying to juggle dancing, college, work, family and friends and honestly I’m pretty much failing. I may have 137 unread emails (only 49 of which actually are awaiting a response from me), lots of texts/whatsapp/viber/messenger messages that I have not yet read or responded to, 3 voice mails and plenty of calls to return but right now I am too busy to add anything else into my schedule and if you want to take that as you are not important to me then go right ahead, send me an email about it, I’ll get around to it eventually. But honestly it’s definitely not going to be until at least November 7th.

That image can go and kiss my ass.

Until next time. let your gypsy soul wander.

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

Hello October…

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So October is here which means its autumn officially in my eyes. For the whole of autumn I am basically going to be a walking embodiment of a basic white girl in uggs, jumpers, scarves and flannel and I bloody love it. I will be taking pictures of leaves and crunching through them and generally finding lots of things that make my heart happy and then instagraming them with the #blessed because that’s just who I am as a person.

So I started back to college this week and for the first time in my life I’m ahead of the game so hoping that lasts. Doing two modules together this year instead of staggered like last year as well as working full time and teaching dance is a lot to juggle but hey I can do it so long as I actually control my time management. I’m going to try and blog at least three times a week (I have high hopes but you know my track record so..).

So this is just a short post to dip my toes back in so to speak. I’ll leave it with some of my favourite things about Autumn.

  • I can start watching Hocus Pocus (in fact I’ve watched it already and I’m not even sorry).
  • Crunchy leaves! I know in Ireland they get soggy fast but on the crunchy days I love them.
  • Hot chocolate from Starbucks (as much of a basic as I am I can’t stand pumpkin spice because of the cinnamon)
  • Taking M and A to the pumpkin patch.
  • Decorating the house for Halloween.
  • My Autumn Vacation: this years trip is to New York and then a Bahamas Cruise.
  • I also re-watch Grey’s Anatomy every October from the beginning and I still cry like a baby every single time George O’Malley dies so there’s that to look forward to.

So until next time, let your gypsy soul wander x

 

Uncategorized

Grief 101: How to deal with it and cope.

The title of this blog is something that I wish I had. I wish I had a guide that told me in black and white terms how this should go. I am the type of person that need lists and steps and order. I need to know what I am meant to do and how I am meant to do it because I don’t read social cues well and instead of coping I tend to curl up in a ball and stay there until somebody tells me what to do. Fight of flight is not an instinct I have, fight or paralyzing fear seems to be my go to.

So what is leading me to writing this post, this blog has not been a priority and I can’t remember the last time I blogged. But I’m writing now because I have so much to say and I can’t organise the thoughts in my head. This is my attempt to bring order to the chaos that is surrounding our lives at the moment. I am going to be brutally honest, prepare for some cursing, cheesy cliches and babbling. I may leave this post up forever or I may delete it after a few hours. This is the chaos, feel free to read.

Shes gone. Leona is gone. I feel as if I need to write that because it is something I’m trying to get my head around. I still don’t believe it and it does not feel real. She went to bed catching up on her soaps and the next morning she was dead. We spent the last 10 days in China and she was fine. There wasn’t anything wrong with her. We went to Shanghai Disneyland and she had a ball, she loved Disney nearly as much as me. We sat beside each other on the flight home and talked about our plans for the dance team for the next year. What we were going to work on and how good it was going to be. We said goodbye at the airport and our last conversations was me: “have all the kids got parents here for them?” her:” yeah they do I’m going as well” me:”no bother see you during the week” and that was it the last time I’d speak to her.

When we got the phone call I told mam that she was wrong. That it wasn’t Leona they’d made a mistake, it had to be somebody related to Leona, they’d given the wrong name, it just couldn’t be true she was fine yesterday. Leona was like a daughter to my mam, she was part of the family. I can’t ever remember a time when she wasn’t around. I remember when I was 8 and we were in Florida. I had hair so long I could sit on it and I’d been swimming, there were knots upon knots and Leona was the one who sat there for hours to get them out with spray conditioner and a brush. Now don’t get me wrong she tore the head off me and I cried but she was patient and persistent and she let me play with her new Mickey Mouse watch she had bought in Atlanta airport to take my mind off it. Patient and persistent are two words that described her and made her a great dance teacher. She never ever gave up on a kid and she pushed them even when they wanted to give up on themselves. She is loved by so many people and I can’t really believe that this is happening. She would always kick your ass when you needed it but then came over to make sure you were ok afterwards. She had a heart of gold and would do anything for anybody who needed it and that’s not even an exaggeration she was selfless. There have been so many tears shed and when the kids ask me why it happened I wish I had another fucking reason other than I don’t know.

It is something that we can’t make sense of. Her dying is fucking unfair and shocking and every time I think about it I feel like I can’t breathe. Even these words don’t seem fitting to how we are all feeling. We are all leaning on each other and putting on a brave front especially for the younger ones who look to us for their cue on how to deal with it. But I am angry and heartbroken and I want to scream and punch something and at the same time I want to stop and curl up and do nothing and I don’t know what to do or how to deal with it and I want a 5 step plan as to how to cope with it. I want her not to be dead. She was too young to die. I can’t stop thinking about her family. Her poor mam I can’t even imagine how they are feeling. I want to do something to help them but in reality there’s nothing I can do. I am working on a slideshow of her for her funeral but I can’t stop crying long enough to get it together but I will. I tried to edit the video footage I took in china but when I saw her on video singing the rattlin’ bog on the bus looking so happy and so full of life I literally thought my heart was going to explode and I couldn’t breathe and I had to shut it.

This is the last photo we took together in Disneyland. It’s badly lit and not exactly our best angle and the girl beside us is clearly photobombing but it was a day where we were both so happy and I am thankful I took it. I don’t know how we will get over this. If anybody has a guide can you let me know?

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Just Me · Lifestyle · Uncategorized

How is it April already?

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Wow it’s April already. I am seriously still in shock that our Disney Vacation is over and I’m coming to the end of one of my college modules already. I though I’d scheduled lots of Disney posts while I was away, turns out I didn’t schedule them properly so I keeping them for the times when I don’t have much creativity and want to post something (some may call this cheating, I call it being resourceful lol).

Our vacation was completely and utterly amazing. I have a whole post done coming up next week about it but honestly I hate to be home. Next trip isn’t until September to China so lots of time and staycationing between then and now which is kinda depressing but hey it’s worth it for China which has been on my bucket list since I can remember.

April is the start of another No Spend Month for me. Trying to kick start more responsible management of my money. I have been doing so well since the last no spend month but feel myself slipping back to the old spending habits so time to kick my butt back into being fiscally responsible (look how adulty I sound!) I haven’t been taking my supplements and honestly got into a bit of trouble health wise because of it so have to get started back on those and being consistent.

Things I’m loving at the moment are:

  • Shadowhunters on Netflix.
  • Garlic toasties with bacon and cheese.
  • Hillsong Y & F – Youth Revival.
  • Grace & Style: The Art of Pretending You Have It by Grace Helbig.
  • Boots No7 Protect & Perfect Intense advanced day & night creams.

Well thats an update on whats going on with me. Hows everybody else doing? Any exciting news to share?

Until next time, let your gypsy soul wander.

Disney · Lifestyle · Travel · Uncategorized

Why planning a Walt Disney World vacation reminds me of Monica from Friends…

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When it comes to Disney you are either a Disney person or not. I am a full blown Disney person and proud of it. You can tell me to grow up, you can tell me its for kids, you can tell me I’m not normal (but seriously we all know I’m not normal and its for many different reasons, this is not one of them), you can tell me it’s hot and crowded and full of screaming kids and parents and generally a nightmare. I will listen then tell you to bibbidi bobbidi back up out of my life but nicely with a smile because I’m a Disney person.

There are two camps when it comes to a Walt Disney World Vacation. First is the most crowded camp which is plan your meals, Fastpasses, Touring Plans etc months in advance and down to a tee. Second is the rebels who like to go with the flow and see what happens, don’t make plans and try to work it out when there. Anybody who knows me know I am very clearly stationed permanently in camp one, though I must admit I am envious of those in camp two.

Now planning a Walt Disney World vacation is a lot of work. It involves making plans months in advance. It involves research for everything from Fastpasses to dining reservations to transport. If you want to dine at Cinderellas Royal Table or Be Our Guest and want to get a FastPass for Toy Story Midway Mania or Seven Dwarfs Mine Train then you need to plan.

Basics you need to know are do you plan on staying on or off site? What restaurants do you definitely want to eat at? What do you want FastPasses for? If staying off site how are you going to get to parks? Shuttle, rental car or taxi? Villa or hotel? If staying on site what days are Extra Magic Hours? Dining Plan or no? I feel the inner Monica Geller come out as I write this!

If this seems like too much work for you then its probably not the best place for you to go. Alternatively you can use a travel agent who can take care of all of this for you. I will reccomend Jacquie Skurla over at A Touch Of Pixie Dust Travel for all your Disney needs. Jacquie is so helpful and has a great knowledge of every aspect of Disney from cruising to the parks. I use her as my TA for cruises and couldn’t recommend her more.

Over the next few days you will be seeing some posts about planning. How I do it and tips I have found useful. Hope you enjoy.

Until next time, let your gypsy soul wander.